Ingredients

• 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 1 onion diced
• 3 cloves garlic crushed
• 2 stalks celery diced
• 4 tbsp curry powder
• 8 cups chicken or vegetable broth
• 1 14.5 ounce can fire-roasted crushed tomatoes
• 2 cups butternut squash chopped
• 3 carrots sliced
• 2 1/2 cups dry lentils any color (I especially like red for this recipe)
•  Sea salt and pepper to taste

Servings: peopleRecipe Notes

Optional Add-ins:

• Fresh basil, sprinkled as a garnish
• Red pepper flakes. For more spice, add to individual bowls.

What is a gratitude practice?  There’s many ways to go about this and there’s not one size fits all.  What’s important is creating a personal and meaningful way to appreciate all the things in your life daily.  A soul checklist if you will, of all there is in life to be grateful for.

A list of ideas could include:

• a daily mantra
• a morning prayer to start the day
• sending out a note of thanks weekly or daily
• firing off in your mind 20 things you are grateful for at the start of each day
• listing 5 things daily that you are grateful for in a gratitude journal or write it in your planner.
• a gratitude jar – write down 1 thing you are grateful for each day on a small piece of paper and pop it in the jar. Watch how quickly the jar fills up.  Pull out slips of paper to read when you’re feeling low.

Whatever it may look like for you, practicing gratitude each day can have a positive impact on every aspect of your life.  Don’t get too caught up in the details of what you’re grateful for.  Of course, it can be the obvious such as family, health, home, food.  Those are certainly important and part of our essential needs for survival.  But at its core, gratitude can be the simplest, smallest things.  Those often hold the most meaning and are a great way for gratitude to take root in your life.

Some simple things to be grateful for:

• birds
• sunlight
• trees
• flowers
• the sky
• soap bubbles
• rain
• rainbows
• fluffy clouds
• smell of dinner cooking
• shiny buttons
• running water
• electricity
• music
• dancing
• cotton sheets
• the perfume inserts in your favorite magazine
• bread baking
• babies laughing
• kittens purring
• hugs
• candlelight
• snowflakes
• mountain tops
• a good cup of gourmet coffee

Get the idea?

There are also many physical and emotional benefits of creating a gratitude practice.  Including:

• a stronger immune system
• better sleep
• more energy and enthusiasm
• more determination and focus
• stronger family ties
• positivity
• more compassion and generosity
• fewer feelings of loneliness and isolation
• stronger resolve for trying times
• optimism for the future

I could continue making lists, but maybe it would better to share my gratitude story with you.

Have you ever gone through a phase in life where you just felt lousy?  And then piled shame on top of that.  Beating yourself up for not feeling grateful because things could always be worse.

Years ago, I was going through one of those phases.  No serious problems, I was just sad all the time and didn’t know how to snap out of it.

I knew I had a lot to be grateful for, but I wasn’t feeling it.  I decided I needed a reminder of everything that was good in my life.  A symbol of gratitude so I could start my gratitude practice and heal my sadness.  I chose a rock.  But not just any rock.  It had to be in the shape of a heart, so I’d know for sure it was meant for me.

One day on my lunch hour from work, I sat in my car in total silence and prayed for this rock.  I imagined the shape of it and the weight of it in my outstretched hand.  I said “thank you” as if I already had the rock and released my prayer.

Three weeks later in the Smoky Mountains, I was hiking on a trail with my son.  He had run ahead of me anxious to get to our destination.  Suddenly he stopped and bent down to look at the ground.  He picked up his find and ran back to me.  “Mommy, mommy,” he said, “this is for you!”  I held out my hand and looked down to see my heart shaped rock.  My gratitude rock.  The one I had prayed for.  The one I attracted right into the palm of my hand.  And just to drive the point home that I would be okay, it was delivered to me through my precious son, whom I was most grateful for.  Practicing gratitude has been an important piece of my health and wellness ever since and it can be for you too.

You’re a living, vibrant, being full of magical energy.  You can create a force to attract wonderful things in your life and gratitude is the fuel.  But if you’re not ready to start a gratitude practice, I have one last bit of advice – when you get out of bed every morning, say the words “thank you” when your feet hit the floor.  You may not be feeling it, you may not even believe it, but say it anyway.  We tend to believe what we hear ourselves say.  If you only ever say the words “thank you,” it will be enough to start a path toward gratitude.

But what does it mean to thrive?

According to an article in Harvard Business Review, thriving is the “psychological state in which people experience a sense of both vitality and learning.” People who thrive are in a state of growth, development, and are energetic rather than being in a stagnated or depleted state.

A stagnated, depleted state.  Sounds like the definition of 2020.

The year for you may feel like a constant state of depletion, with a side of negativity.  The news, social media, comments you may read, conversations you’re in or overhear.  Just as positivity can lift you up, negativity will drag you down a dark hole and the effects are insidious.  Just like the horror movie of the same name, when you’re surrounded by negativity, it feels like a dark, red-faced demon following you like a shadow and ready to strike.

Negativity is toxic and if it goes unchecked, will take a toll on you, infect others, and everything that you do.  An infection as nasty as COVID-19.  When you thrive, you’re of course happier, but also healthier.  You build resiliency and can face obstacles without being taken down for the count.  You can focus on your work, family, friends.  You can focus on building the life you want.

You may be thinking, “Okay genius, how do I thrive?!”  Well, here are a few tips for you to get the ball rolling:

Stop Negativity in Its Tracks

And I mean literally.  Picture in your head a stop sign, railroad crossing, even Gandalf the Grey from The Lord of the Rings with his mighty wizard staff.  Anything that tells the Insidious monster (negativity) that he’s not getting into your head.  “You shall not pass!”  Think of stopping negative messages just like deleting an email or a text.  Click that trash can icon and move along. If you find yourself surrounded by energy vampires, people who drain your energy from you, time to rethink who you’re spending your time with. Drag them into the sunlight and set yourself free. Metaphorically speaking, that is.

We Tend to Believe What We Hear Ourselves Say

Be mindful of your thoughts and the words you choose to say.  You have probably been in a group environment where others have affected you positively or negatively.  But no one has control over your thoughts, feelings, and words but you.  And when we verbalize our thoughts into words, it’s far more powerful than if we think them because we often believe what we hear ourselves say.  Life isn’t perfect and it’s not always hearts and flowers.  But when you find yourself verbalizing negativity, try reframing it.  For example, if you find yourself talking about a situation being “the worst” or “catastrophic”, reframe it by using a word like “challenging.”  This acknowledges the situation but leaves room for growth and learning.  Affirming that you’re stronger than what’s happening.  You can’t control what others are saying and what’s happening around you, but you can absolutely control what you let in and how you respond.

Build Your Resilience

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from life’s setbacks.  The phrase “a setback is just a set up for a come-back” may sound a bit cliché, but it’s true, nonetheless.  When you let the bad stuff over-take your mind, it affects your decision making, your immune system, and your emotional well-being.  It dramatically slows dopamine which is your “zest for life” hormone.  As Dr. Sears says, “The longer you dwell, the deeper your well.”

My biggest piece of advice if you’re in this state is to take action.  Get yourself in action whether it’s taking a walk, organizing a space, calling a friend for support, or doing a service for someone else.  That one is my favorite and always pulls me out of the well.  Doing something to help someone else.  People who are resilient tend to be healthier and happier.  They thrive.  So, practice building on your resiliency.

Practice Gratitude

If you’ve followed me for any amount of time, you know this one is the big one for me.  Practicing gratitude will have a positive impact on every aspect of your life.  Create a personal and meaningful way to appreciate all the things in your life by practicing gratitude daily.  Gratitude helps to reduce stress and its negative effects.  It also increases the support we receive from others and becomes contagious.  For tips on how to establish a gratitude practice, read my previous blog Practice an Attitude of Gratitude.

It’s okay to be sad sometimes.  It’s important to recognize those feelings and be present with them.  But avoid letting them take over your world.  And while you may not be able to stop negative things from coming into your life, you can control how you respond and resist the toxicity of them.  Make good choices of who you spend time with, information you consume, and the mindset you adapt.  Climb out of the well and get on the path to thriving.

But why?

Is it a lack of motivation or will power?  A fear of failure? Probably the latter.   But if you fear failure it’s usually tied to motivation and will power. The word resolution itself is somewhat intimidating isn’t it?  Resolute means determined and unwavering, No flexibility.  Black and white.  But making changes, particularly health related ones, are often in a grey area that craves flexibility.

Good news.  Success here isn’t about motivation or will power.  It’s about creating small habits and making it easy to fit into your daily routine. Instead of making new resolutions, make new habits.  Small habits that make little changes over time.  Little changes lead to big ones.  Before you know it, you’ve created life-long changes.

I used to make resolutions every year.  Start strong, ride the motivation wave, and then peter out some time near the end of February or early March.  Barely making it the first quarter of the new year.  That’s not to say I wouldn’t have any progress, but I felt like I was working with a flawed formula and getting limited success.  Have you experienced this?  If this isn’t resonating for you and you’re a rock star at hitting goals, allow me to say BRAVO!  You’re a unique individual and I admire you!  If not, stay with me and keep reading.

You’re human and you live in the age of the fast lane.  And like the rest of us, when you want something, you want it now!  That includes change.  You want Amazon Prime membership kind of change.  What does that mean when it comes to being successful at making changes?  It means you most likely take on too much.  Trying to change everything at once.  You end up overwhelmed, frustrated, and then the negative self-talk starts.  That’s where creating small habits over time come into play.  And if you can fit them into an already established routine, you’ve got a better chance at success.

Let me give you an example.  Drinking plenty of water is essential to staying healthy.  But you may not realize that you need to take in about half your weight in oz. of water everyday to get proper hydration.  If you’re not already in the habit of drinking water, that amount can be a challenge, even if you remember in your busy day to stop and drink a glass.  Start with that first glass and figure out a way to work it into your routine.  For me, every night before I got to bed, I put a full glass of water one my nightstand.  That was the first small habit I made.  Remembering to do that ritually.  The second habit, when I wake up in the morning and turn off my alarm, I grab the glass of water and head into the bathroom (something I do every morning).   I take a seat, and while I’m peeing the water out, I’m drinking my glass of water and pouring it right back in. That’s how you can incorporate new habits into an already existing routine.

Want to learn more about creating new habits?  I love the book Tiny Habits by Dr. B.J. Fogg.  So many things clicked for me in his book and I highly recommend reading it.  You can check it out here.

Whether you are making new habits or setting goals for the new year, to set your self up for success, make sure they are S.M.A.R.T.

If you’ve worked in the business field or done any type of career development, you’ve probably heard of S.M.A.R.T. goals.  If not, no worries.  Here’s what it means:

S – Is it specific?  For example, you might want to be healthier, but what does that mean to you exactly?  Losing weight? Okay, how much?  Getting more sleep?  How much and how will you do that exactly?  Set a reminder on your phone to start winding down 45 minutes before bedtime?  GET SPECIFIC!

M – Is it measurable? If you want to lose weight, how will you track that?  Using a scale?  Taking full body measurements (more accurate than the scale, btw)?  Track your BMI (body mass index)?  Make sure you have the tools to track your goal.

A – is it attainable?  Most changes are challenging but they should also be possible.  Don’t try to take on too much or try to change everything at once.  Push yourself but pace yourself.  Eat that elephant one bite at a time.

R – Is it relevant?  Or more to the point, is it realistic?  Every Christmas when I see the Nutcracker ballet, I fantasize that I could be a prima ballerina.  But at age 52, that ship has long sailed.  However, I have the physical lines and posture of a ballerina thanks to my barre workout, Pure Barre.  And I didn’t start doing that ‘til I was 45 years old.  Know what hurdles you’ll have to overcome in reaching your goals.

T – Is it time-based?  Give yourself a realistic deadline to achieve your goal.  Don’t keep putting it off thinking you might hit it “someday.”  Take it from me. I HATED writing things down or even hearing the work “goal.”  But it wasn’t until I got specific, wrote things down, and drew a line in the sand with time that real change started happening in my life.  If you are wishy-washy about what you want, you’ll get wishy-washy results.

Lastly, if you remember nothing else, remember this – you only fail if you stop trying.

Happy New Year to you!

The standard chunk of Lorem Ipsum used since the 1500s is reproduced below for those interested. Sections 1.10.32 and 1.10.33 from “de Finibus Bonorum et Malorum” by Cicero are also reproduced in their exact original form, accompanied by English versions from the 1914 translation by H. Rackham.